Are you Mary or Judas? Frankly, at this point in the story, I’m not sure I want to be either one! We’ve shifted abruptly into the Gospel of John. We’re now about two miles from Jerusalem and a couple of days from the wrenching events that are about to take place there. Jesus has come for a last dinner party with his friends at Bethany, Lazarus, Martha, and Mary. Others of his disciples are also there, including Judas, the one who will betray him. That part of the story has yet to come, although the shadows are already present in this part. Here in this intimate scene – Jesus at table with his friends – something extraordinary happens that throws into relief two ways of relating to Jesus. Without saying a word, Lazarus’s sister, Mary, pours a huge quantity of costly ointment made from the spikenard plant onto Jesus’ feet, and then begins to wipe Jesus’ feet with her unbound hair. As we might expect, Judas criticizes Mary’s action, alluding to a duty to the poor.
In these two characters, the evangelist gives us two very different models of discipleship. Mary is our model of true discipleship, while Judas is our model of false discipleship. Consider the two of them. Mary knows what she needs to do. Though her action transgresses every social boundary – respectable women do not wipe their teacher’s feet with their hair – she knows what she must do and acts without any self-justification. She trusts that Jesus will understand her gesture and accept it for what it is – an act of love. She doesn’t worry about whether there will be enough money for ministry but offers Jesus what he most needs at this point in his journey, a demonstration of the heartfelt love that she has for him.
On the other hand, Judas does not know what to do. Can’t you imagine him awkwardly sitting somewhere at the table, knowing what he’s agreed to do and wondering what to say? He certainly doesn’t trust Jesus, and he criticizes Mary’s loving gesture. Operating out of an economy of scarcity, he models rational behavior devoid of love. It’s true that we need to provide for the poor, and the equivalent of a year’s wages could be well spent for ministry, but Judas offers Jesus nothing that comes from his heart.
So are you Mary or Judas? The truth is that most of us are both. We want to offer Jesus acts of heartfelt love, but most of the time we stand around awkwardly. At worst we know we’re about to betray Jesus. At best, we simply don’t know how to express our love to him. Yet, thanks be to God, God’s grace is sufficient for us. God’s grace embraces all of us just as we are. God’s grace is sufficient to redeem both the loving and the less loving aspects of our lives and behavior.
But our goal as followers of Jesus is always to become more like him. Our goal is always to increase our capacity to love. It takes most of us a lifetime to get there, but our goal as Jesus’ disciples is always to become more and more like Jesus and Mary and less and less like Judas. Ultimately, by God’s grace we ourselves may become capable of extravagant gestures of love. And make no mistake: Judas had it wrong. The spiritual life is never a choice between love for God and service to the poor. Rather, we are always called to be devoted to Jesus with all our heart, to regularly offer ourselves in worship, and to serve the poor with all our strength. Growth in all three is necessary for spiritual maturity. But, at the end of the day, the goal is always to get beyond our own small egos, become more like Christ, and love God and our neighbor more deeply.
What are some of the ways we “press on” to make this goal our own? If Mary is our model, then as Jesus’ friend, we must allow ourselves to experience more directly Jesus’ love for us. We must also express that love back to him. Remember that this is the Mary who plunked herself down at Jesus’ feet and let her sister fix dinner. Did Jesus rebuke her for that? Indeed not. Rather, he said, “There is need of only one thing. Mary has chosen the better part, which will not be taken away from her.” This is the same Mary too who patiently waited at Lazarus’s tomb, knowing that Jesus would come. Our life as disciples is never solely about what one writer called assensus, i.e., assenting to propositions about Jesus. Even if you understood and assented to every statement in the Nicene Creed, you would not necessarily thereby increase in spiritual maturity. Rather, if Mary is our model then our life as disciples is all about having a loving relationship with Jesus, experiencing Jesus’ love for us and expressing our love back to him. How do we do that?
Trite and tired as it sounds, regular worship is one way. When we come to worship, even if initially we come through a sense of duty or obligation, we deliberately bring ourselves into Jesus’ presence. We consciously let ourselves be enlightened by Scripture and nourished by Jesus’ Body and Blood. Ideally, our worship experience isn’t a set of rote prayers and dry formulae. Ideally, by God’s grace, something about our worship touches us, transforms us, moves us, and brings us into direct relationship with Jesus, so that we go out different people from those who came in.
Contemplative prayer is another way of pressing on toward our goal of a deeper capacity to love. For some people, praying in the presence of an icon or picture of Jesus helps them to focus on Jesus, to see a visible example of his love for us and to know him to be present to us. It’s a little like sitting with an old friend: no words are needed, just the pleasure of being together. For others, reading Scripture contemplatively is a way to experience Jesus’ love and express our own. Some people use a method of imaginatively placing themselves into a scene from Scripture – as we’ve been doing on Tuesday evenings – and feeling themselves directly interact with Jesus. Perhaps you can imagine Jesus touching you or even embracing you. Don’t you think Jesus embraced his friends at Bethany? Why not you? Other people use a lectio divina approach, meditating on a word or phrase of Scripture that especially speaks to us. Any one of these ways – and many others – allow you to experience for yourselves Jesus’ great love for you and give you opportunities to express back to Jesus your love for him. Can you take the time to put yourself in Jesus’ presence? By God’s grace the time that you spend with Jesus in prayer will be like the nard whose fragrance filled the entire house. The fragrance of your prayer time will seep into the entire rest of your day, and you will remember that, just like Mary of Bethany, you too are Jesus’ beloved friend.
Finally, serving the poor is another way in which we allow Jesus to love us and express our love for him. Jesus himself did not minister to those who were rich and powerful or to those who scrupulously observed the law. Rather, he associated with those on the margins of society, with prostitutes, tax collectors, women, and farmers, with those who were sick, disabled or possessed. At the end of Matthew’s gospel he reminded us that whenever we fed, clothed, nursed, or visited “the least of these,” we did it to him. Writing a check is fine. Churches and charities are always in a position to receive funds. But if Mary is our model, then we are also called to concrete action, to real relationships with real people who need our help. Come to Loaves and Fishes – or to any place where you are personally useful. Talk with our diners. Smile and set a plate down in front of them. Jesus will be sitting among them, taking the plate from your hand. Get out of your comfort zone, give up your apathy, and let go of your ability to turn away from the needs of others.
What is our ultimate goal? It is to live our lives so totally devoted to Christ that our love for him is more important to us than anything else in the world and to express that love to those around us. Today is coincidentally St. Patrick’s Day. More than fifteen hundred years ago, St. Patrick gave us clues about what our real goal in life should be. Some of you will recognize the words as verse 6 of the hymn commonly called “St. Patrick’s Breastplate:”
Christ be with me, Christ within me, Christ behind, Christ before me, Christ beside me, Christ to win me, Christ to comfort and restore me, Christ beneath me, Christ above me, Christ in quiet, Christ in danger, Christ in hearts of all that love me, Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
Are you Mary or Judas? By God’s grace, and inspired by Mary, we are all, day by day being transformed into those who know Christ’s love without a doubt and who express it with trust and joy to him and to the world around us.
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